part of life's history...

I just finished reading this book, for one more day by mitch albom, which was lent by mel and given to her by yumi... (perk of the job, a book club!)

Sa office, we lend books to each other regardless of you like it/read it/want it/borrowed it or wala lang... and this was lent, wala lang...or maybe because mel knows i'm the cheesy-iest...and it was an emo book...haha...it was sitting with the pile of other must read until the end of last month...when finally i was making progress on that towering pile...

and who would have thought...the timing was apt...my grandma died the week next...suddenly...i did not touch the book the whole two weeks i think...because i was busy...then i was scared...(baka kunin ako ni ima for one more day..ooohhh scary...hehe) and just recently i finished it in three days.

death in the family, although not new to me (other g.dad died 3 years ago ang a friend just last year) is always surreal to me...my coping mechanism is very efficient...it would seem i process emotions flawlessly...well i guess that's what i'm made of...tough shell...but deep inside, i get too process a lot of life lessons. i ponder... i think... i learn...and thus i change...in ways or means not visible to the naked eye...

in one of the condolences card...one statement made an impact to me... 'when a loved one dies, and moreso when a parent, we think it's just the body that has to leave...the memories stay on...but even memories fade...so in a passing, a part of your history is lost too... things you can never learn about again...people you were acquainted with...words that were never said...stories that were never told'...in fact i realized, since not all parents talks to their child in detail about those few years in the child's life...years that you probably have no lasting memories off...years of being just a baby...this things we lost in death...that would be a good three years of our personal history lost...

in the book...i learned about how many unspoken words we have in a lifetime...feelings we keep to ourself...assumptions of understanding and being understood...i definitely can relate...me being someone who probably keeps 70% of my opinion and feelings to myself...we tend to edit...or 'I' tend to edit...and even when blogging or sharing or heart to heart talks...we never expose ourselves completely...we hide...and in the book, it showed how much difference it makes if you knew how things really were in your life...when you understand the true story of things...

well, hopefully heaven is were we can all be enlightened...and there is comfort in knowing that dying is just a path to be all knowing...we said our goodbyes to ima: gratitude, forgiveness, promises, grief...i believe we didn't have to...like God, she can easily know what's in our hearts...and whats in our hearts will stay as long as we remember...