my american idol experience...or not

First things first...

I think this fangirling is giving me the OS disease (OS = over sharing) I'm always on twitter and tumblr stalking. I'm starting to be annoyed of myself...hahaha...(especially when I review my tweets...gaahhh...shameful!) Hope AI-fangirling-me would take a breather first before jumping into another. FYI, this time last year I was fantarding (yes I felt like a retard then) too...'nuff said.

Well I've said it too many times...I am extremely obsessive. I can't figure out though personally if that's kinda good or bad. It gives me a happy kind of 'high'...although I can list quite a lot of bad habits I acquired. Will take note of this when I finally have time for an examination of self.

So, going back to that AI thingy. I was obsessed. So the tour having a stop here made me crazy. I probably wouldn't care about ticket prices, I was so sure it would never go beyond 10k (I was wrong obviously). But watching it was a 'no deal' even from the start. Even when the groupon sites slashed 70%off those expensive tickets. That made it unbearable actually. I probably could pool the money but spending it on a freakin' concert of amateurs (not my term) would forever haunt my conscience. As you know, the family is not in a better place right now. My finances is almost suicidal every payday. If before I think twice before spending on anything, now I think five times more. So imagine the heartbreak! (haha, drama queen)

"Feeling and longing are the motive forces behind all human endeavor and human creations." - Albert Einstein

True that Einstein! I was motivated to endure and thus I succumb to the next possible source of hope...contests! It was fortunate that I am as always an FM kind of girl when commuting. I am a morning rusher type of fan. That RX contest was so easy I wonder why too few I think joined. (well now I know why...)...So, fast forward a little to last week which was all hell crazy. AI was all I could think about (ok not "all", almost na lang). I am so much aware of that huge feeling of WANT, it haunts me. But what can I do? Now I believe in what was said in the Alchemist and the power of the Secret. If you long for something so bad you attract it towards you. The universe will conspire. I did not win the contest. I hated the 4 people who won to bits...hahaha. But lo and behold I got a call...an hour before the show. *put insane screaming here*

But I did not get to watch...this was why...

The girl offered me tickets BUT asked for my location. Then I was given some sort of a deadline. Then we pondered on stuff. Then, it's either I went bonkers or I was possessed by Mother Theresa. I knew I won't make it. I didn't want the tickets to go to waste (*insert halo*) I passed. On hindsight I could've pushed, moved heaven and earth to make it or simply tried. But I did not. Because that's how I am. I actually felt bad for like an hour. I bounce back though, I always do.

Lots of learning. I know about that certain trait of mine. That which makes me hold back always. I hear it a lot from people who know me. That for them would be my biggest flaw. I would try to defy that impression if ever an opportunity present itself. Hephep, please nobody offer me to do skydiving, streaking or the sorts...hell I'll die. Hahaha...ooops first booboo.

I learned too that prayer helps, but it's up to you to figure out God's plans. My first immediate thought after the phone call was "God, are you kidding me?!" Then I was okay. It wasn't meant to be. I was simply being taught a lesson.

I learned too that as john lloyd said to vilma...
"...hindi lang sayo umiikot ang mundo at hindi ito titigil kahit mawala ka pa! ":D

Bwahaha. It's not about me. AItour or any of the idols did not even trend on twitter. Though I sulk in bitterness whenever I see my feed or dash, it took me a while to get updates. And boy those radio personalities didn't even know anything about them. No biggie.

Nope, I doubt I'm moving on. Probably a week or 2 more of this fangirling. But it shall pass. Last year I was way way worse. And I turned okay. I remember all the fun crazy memories, but the obsession is totally gone. It was replaced by occasional fondness...

The radio thingie was epic. I rarely win on raffles or contests. But sure thing it was worth a try. I'll blabber about it in years to come probably.

This crazy phenomena of being a fan, amazes me of what people can do.